Hey everyone, so I know its been forever since ive updated on this thing, and i apologize but ive never really had much to say but now i do.... This past weekend has prob been the hardest ever, i never thought i had this many tears in me, im not going to go into details and if anyone is lost im very sorry, but anywyas ive been praying alot about everything, and i ask for your prayers, and last night i just had this urge to write what i was feeling, so some how i managed to write a rediculously long poem, but its all that im feeling inside, and i just felt that i needed to get it out so here you go... What Will be Will be.... It was the end of the year, I was down to my last tear. I met him thinking it was just a crush, but then everything happened all in a rush. We were there, on a cold Eve's night, I wondered to myself could this be Mr. Right? It then began, laughs, butterflies, and long gazes in the eye, was this the beginning of something great, or is it just another big lie. Days, months, even a year went by, everything was perfect, my life was great, all I could do was cry. memories were made, pictures taken, hug and kisses everyday, one summer spent in Hawaii and Spain, oh wow what else could I say? We cared about and loved each other so much, nothing could go wrong, one night he even wrote, sang, and played me a beautiful love song. Then came our two year mark, it was a dream come true such a beautiful night, from fine dining, to crazy games at starbucks, to his drawing- such a breathtaking sight, you + me = forever it said, I cried and knew right then that he was "it", nothing was going to happen to us, had no worries, not one little bit, Then it happened the day i thought would never come, I felt pain, sickness, disbelief, just plain ole dumb. Everything seemed so perfect, just a normal day, who would have thought it would have ended this way. I waited at night by the phone for simply a text or perhaps a call, but not a ring was heard, it was silence, not a sound at all, I continued to cry and drown myself in sorrow, hoping that in some crazy way it would be better tomorrow. I wanted to call, but I couldn't, they told me I had to be strong, even though I felt like this whole thing was all so wrong. I still feel that hes the One, but I continue to pray every hour of the day, hoping that God will show us the answer in some extraordinary way. He was my first "true" love and hopefully he will be my last, but God has the answers, he knows my future, I must not cling to the past. so God, I surrender, I give this all over to you, I will be patient, listen, and strive for your Will in all I do. And to that boy, I will always love you and still consider you as my best friend, hoping that this will all work out, and we will be together in the end. But until then I hope you find the answers you're looking for, whether it's with me or not as much as that hurts, it will all work out and tears will be no more. | 
